Laurie's Dilemma
by literaryfreak
Summary: A Little Women fic! Laurie comes home from college for the weekend, and has some thinking to do about his relationship with Jo. Oneshot


A/NK, here's the deal: I wrote this like two years ago but I was lazy and never typed it up before now. So, since it's cruel when I've been crying over never finding Little Women fics and I have one but I'm not uploading it, it's high time I buck up and publish. I hope you don't cringe too much at my ver-bos-i-ty (because I'm not editing it) and my use of the song _Crazy for This Girl_, by Evan and Jaron. It was one of the first songs I liked, back in good ole fourth grade (blush), and it always stuck as the perfect song for a songfic, though I forgot if forbids songfics now. Oh well. Read on, oh mighty one.

DISCLAIMER: There's no reason for a disclaimer, I feel. The site's name should say everything. But for everyone else – No, I do not own _Little Women_ by the incredible Louisa May Alcott or _Crazy for This Girl_, by Evan and Jaron. I wouldn't mind having their guitar since I don't have one, but that's my problem.

"He's late."

The words hung in the air around an old, black iron gate, latched shut against the road. There was no one to be seen except a young nineteen-year old girl with long chestnut hair in a coil down her back. One would think nineteen ears signified adulthood and maturity, but her whole attitude, from her forehead wrinkled in annoyance, to her shifty feet unable to keep still, contradicted such assumptions. A hand grasped one of the cold iron-wrought bars of the gate, and the other shielded her eyes as they keenly surveyed the dusty piece of road that marked the beginning of the lane. Those two words were still there, motionless in the thick morning air, with an indefinite meaning that only the one who uttered them, the girl, knew and kept secret.

_Why must I always wait for him?_ she asked herself in frustration. She paused, although she knew no one would answer. "That's it!" she burst out, stamping her foot. "I refuse to spend a beautiful morning like this waiting for that tardy boy! He can come find me himself, for once." With that, she turned to go but immediately heard the creak of a carriage wheel turning the corner onto the road in front of her. She stayed in place, half-turned, unwilling to retake her traditional position by the gate or to follow through with her hasty decision to leave.

In all this time, the carriage had come to a stop right before the gate, and a brown-haired, brown-eyed boy of about the same age jumped out of the vehicle and muttered a quick, "Thank you. Tell Grandfather I'm home," to the driver, who nodded his head in agreement before leaving. But the merry-faced boy had already turned his attention to the girl staring at him from behind the gate.

"Jo!" he cried, "How good it is to see you!" and he hurried forth to meet her, only to look down in confusion at the gate that remained locked.

_She rolls the window down_

Jo was ready for this. "Teddy, you're arriving awfully late these days. I'm afraid I might not feel like waiting for you by the gate if you won't be punctual," she scolded. She looked him squarely in the eye, trying to adopt the likeness of stone and firmness to show him the seriousness of the situation. But the twinkle in her eye gave away the real ridiculousness of the scene, as she burst out laughing in his face. He just stood there, helpless.

"Oh, Teddy, how do you do it?" she added with a good-natured chuckle as she hopped forward to swing open the gate.

_And she talks over the sound_

_Of the cars that pass us by_

Teddy just grinned like a little boy – "As long as it works!" he replied as he went through the now open gate. Jo took a careful look at him – nothing had changed except his clothes, but they were always different because of Laurie's constant fashion trends. _He's almost as bad as a girl_, she thought mockingly to herself.

"Come," she motioned and took his hand. "They're all waiting for you inside," and with that she started dragging him toward the house, chattering on about the events of the past week, with her back to him. Laurie came home every other weekend from college, and he spent most of that time in the Marches' company. Especially in Jo March's company.

But he had no regrets about spending so much time with her. _She is my best friend, after all_, he thought to himself. _Best friends are supposed to enjoy each other's company very much_.

_And I don't know why_

Jo was still going on about everything and nothing, not caring the least to turn around and see if he was listening. It was one of her peculiar qualities, to be able to constantly change, from being angry and stern, to a full-fledged, joyous, one-sided conversationalist in ten seconds. _That girl could never be still_, Laurie thought with a wry smile upon his face, staring at her back. So few people were as unique as Jo. He was lucky enough to be her friend and especially, to not have to deal with gossip about their relationship.

Not to say he disliked the feeling of her warm hand clasped with his.

_But she's changed my mind_

Deep in reflective thought, Laurie could only wonder if Jo, too, sensed something through their connected hands. He looked up at the backside of her head, shyly, as if she was a stranger to him.

_Well would you look at her?_

_She looks at me_

_She's got me thinking about her constantly_

_But she don't know how I feel_

"Teddy?"

_And as she carries on without a doubt_

_I wonder if she's figured out_

"Teddy," a little more forceful this time.

_I'm crazy for this girl_

"Laurie Laurence! Are you listening to me?" said a loud voice that effectively snapped him out of his reverie to face the very person he'd just been daydreaming about. "Christopher Columbus! You were just staring ahead like you were in a trance, so I turn around to find your blank stare fixed upon me! Don't do that again!" she half-shouted. "It unnerves me incredibly," she added dropping her voice, with a faint rise of her eyebrows in relief that everything was back to normal hopefully.

Laurie _was _back to normal now. "Oh, sorry Jo. Just thinking 'bout something…" he trailed off, quietly scuffing his shoe in the dirt, half-wondering if Jo would inquire deeper. But he didn't need to worry at all, for Jo could never read hints and subtlety and that sort of thing.

"Well stop thinking. You should have done enough of that in your classes this week. Now it is time for you to relax and enjoy the good air!" She took a deep breath of the fresh air and let out a great sigh of contentment. "Well, come then – let's go see Marmee and the girls," and she released his hand, in exchange to link her right arm with his left one.

A few hours later, Laurie found himself on the sofa in the garret, seated next to Jo. They were engaged in a pleasant conversation regarding random topics. His meeting with the rest of the family had gone well as usual: Meg asked for news from John, Beth asked about Grandfather, Marmee made sure he wasn't in any trouble, and Hannah inquired about the gardener who'd sent her a love letter, while Amy tried to draw him sitting down. Jo just leant the doorway, commenting when comments were needed and making fun of him. Likewise, he poked fun at her back, while everyone laughed at their little scene. But afterwards, he and Jo always sat down and had their "conference" – every time. It was then that they shared all the details of home life (from Jo) and college life (from Laurie) on the raggedly old sofa that had been there since forever.

"Anything new, for you?" Jo asked first. "All that happened here was Amy lost one of her silk stockings and tipped over the house twice to find it, driving us all to insanity. Then she found it underneath her bed." Jo finished the tale with a bitter smile, as she remembered the frantic event.

Laurie laughed, a big boyish one. "Ah, only Amy could pull that off!" and they both started laughing again.

Presently, he said, "Well, there's one thing that's happened, but it's of no account really…" he trailed off, taking a quick glimpse of Jo's face to see if his words had any effect on her. It really wasn't that important, but his news had to do with Miss Randal, whom he'd been courting, until recently. Oddly, he wanted to know how Jo would react.

Jo's eyes lit up at the prospect of news. "Jupiter," he breathed as he saw how her eyes changed color, from a deep rich brown to a translucent amber hue. He could drown in those eyes. Lucky for him, he was not heard by the girl whose eyes had captured him so.

"Do tell Teddy, for I'm desperate for something new to happen!" she said in glee, fully looking like the little girl she was at heart.

_She was the one to hold me_

_The night the sky fell down_

"Well, you know Miss Randal?" Teddy tested the waters, watching her carefully.

"No, I don't! It's not like you've been talking about her for the past two months!" Jo joked.

"It turns out she's going around with another fellow, now," he said, trying to look nonchalant and indifferent. But all he achieved was a squeamish look that was the very definition of uncomfortable.

Jo's face fell, instantly, filled with sadness for her dear friend. "Oh, Teddy – that's awful!" emphasizing the word "awful." With a short, fake cough of a laugh she added, "I didn't want that type of news!" Done with humor, she said in sincere sympathy, "Oh, our poor Teddy's heart must ache right now."

"No, it was never anything, just a way to amuse myself during the daily drudgery of life." But it had hurt Laurie a little, after sending Miss Randal flowers and chocolates for two months. But it wasn't _that_ painful – he had only brought it up to observe its effect on Jo: what she'd say and do.

"Don't be silly and try to hide from Dr. Jo," she scolded and suddenly moved forwards to wrap her arms around him in a friendly hug, surprising Laurie. "I know you liked her, but from what you've said about her, she's seems spoiled and snobby and a brat. I hope that makes you feel better," she smiled against his shoulder. She was full of empathy for her friend.

_And what was I thinking when_

The hug had really surprised Laurie, and he stiffened for a moment until he finally gained control of his arms and wrapped them around Jo, pulling her close.

_The world didn't end_

_There is no other more comfortable place than in Jo's arms_, he contentedly thought. He wanted to stay there forever, sustained by the warmth emanating from their bodies. He almost blushed at the thought. But he wanted to hold her close, and it was these differing emotions he went through around Jo that conflicted with his common sense. _She's your best friend. There cannot be anything more between you two_, common sense argued.

_Why didn't I know what I know now_

_Too bad_, his heart retorted, as he pulled her closer still, shutting his eyes and burying his nose in her luxurious hair, giving in to his irrational feelings for the moment.

_Would you look at her?_

_She looks at me _

_She's got me thinking about her constantly_

_But she don't know how I feel_

_So you do love her_, said his brain.

_As she carries on without a doubt_

_I wonder if she's figured out_

But Jo could and would only sit there, unaware that Teddy's "heartache" was for an entirely whole different person than she believed.

_I'm crazy for this girl_

Jo pulled away from the hug first, much to Laurie's reluctance, to face her friend once more. "Buck up, Teddy. I don't want to see you moping around for the next couple days," she said, with the air of a military general. "And that's an order," she added, complete with a deep voice.

"Aye, aye ma'am," Colonel Teddy replied, before they both burst into laughter, again. _Oh, only Jo…only Jo_, he thought, as a friend, not a lover.

_Right now_

After that Laurie to see his grandfather, and the weekend flew by so fast, he found himself on Sunday already, walking out to the gates to summon the carriage with Jo. In the whirlwind called life, Laurie had not gotten a free moment to tell Jo about his feelings, and when he did have a free moment, he couldn't think of what to say. Now, there was only the walk from the house to the iron gates for Laurie to pour out his heart and soul and profess his love for Josephine March.

_Face to face_

"Teddy, you've been awfully quiet these last few days," Jo inquired and stopped in her path, peering up at him. Laurie could only attempt to put on a happy face, but failed, ending up looking bewildered. This only worried Jo more, who furrowed her eyebrows even more in concern. "Is there something else wrong?" she pressed. "Please tell me, Teddy dear. You know I care for you," she pleaded gently.

_All my fears_

Ah, if only a different meaning, he yearned, in that last sentence. He believed he loved her, but he still wasn't sure. _What if I'm just lovesick or angry over Miss Randal? And my emotions could jeopardize our friendship. How do I know if Jo is more than a friend to me?_ The little voices in his head debated over the issue, trying to reach a conclusion. _But what if something happens…like one of your friends falls in love with her?_ Laurie grew cross at the thought. _Will you be able stand by and watched her being wooed?_ His sentimental part had retaliated. _Oh what to do_, Laurie racked in desperation.

_Pushed aside_

"Jo, I…there is something I have to say," Laurie bravely began, trying to "calm down and think rationally" as Jo always recommended.

_And right now_

But it was harder after the beginning words. "I…well you see, Jo…we – " he tried to continue, stuttering and unable to think and talk at the same time. He just didn't know. He truly did not know if he loved her or not, in the sense of the word.

"Teddy." She said his pet name firmly but not harshly, taking his hands in hers. "Tell me, and I promise I won't think any less of you." She looked up into his eyes, and although it further scared Laurie for a second, he soon found in her face the strength he needed to make a decision.

_I'm ready to spend the rest of my life_

Clearly, he said, "Jo, I've been meaning to tell you for so long. I can't wait anymore." He took a deep breath, still wavering between the two cases, still unsure whether to take the plunge or leave it be. He squeezed her hands for courage and support and closed his eyes for a moment before speaking.

"I…"

_With you_

"Thanks for always being there for me, Jo. You're a real friend."

_Well would you look at her?_

_She looks at me _

_She's got me thinking about her constantly_

"That's so sweet, Teddy. Is that what's been bothering you? Oh, you crazy boy," and with that, she went on her tiptoes and gave him an innocent yet tender peck on the cheek.

_But she don't know how I feel_

Laurie wasn't sure what to feel right then. A) He'd just failed to tell Jo he loved, showing his lack of bravery and courage and abundance of cowardice. B) Instead of taking things fast, he'd done the wise thing and kept his emotions to himself until he could sort them out and be sure of his heart, or C) Jo had kissed his cheek, something more surprising than the hug and even more pleasant. While he knew Jo meant nothing by it, he was not going to wash that cheek for a long time.

_And as she carries on without a doubt_

_I wonder if she's figured out_

So our Teddy could just forward to the gate, smiling because he couldn't think of anything else. Yet oddly, he felt a small burden lift from his shoulders.

_I'm crazy for this girl_

"Well Teddy, thanks for coming, and I hope you have a good time at college," Jo said as she unlatched the gate and watched him get settled in the carriage. "Don't forget about us now," she joked with a nervous laugh.

Teddy once again grinned, just like the little boy but with something else mixed in this time. "I couldn't if I tried," he crooned to her. And with that, in addition to a single wave of the hand between the two, Laurie left once more for college.

One could say he blew it. Others would say he was smart. _There's no rush_, he assured himself while he comfortably settled himself in the cushioned carriage._ There'll always be next week_, he thought wryly. _She'll always be there._ On impulse he shot around in his seat to witness through the back window Jo walking back up the path. Amazing.

"How do you do it?" he repeated.

_Well would you look at her?_

_She looks at me_

_She's got me thinking about her constantly_

_But she don't know how I feel_

_And as she carries on without a doubt_

_I wonder if she's figured out_

_I'm crazy for this girl_

_Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl_

EL FIN!

A/N Yes, yes finally! I told you I hated writing…now please go out there and write some quality Jo/Laurie fics (with a kiss this time, mind you) and the world will go back to the path it should have been on in the years following 1868.


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